I admit when my ex-husband announced that he wanted a divorce that I was nearly broken down. It took a couple years of counseling and some oddly revelations to find out that it was not me that was the problem.

I kept clean house.
I attended to my husband’s needs.
I took care of my son.

My ex-husband completely ignored my efforts and tried to put me in a position where I felt unappreciated. Of course, we did go out and we never suffered financially. However, emotionally… it was like anything I did was never enough.

Once my ex-husband and I divorced, things simmered down and we began to be more civil. No family to interfere, we passed our son in between our homes, and each of us worked our own careers.

I am fortunate that I get along with my ex. My boyfriend cannot say the same as his ex is an ugly person inside. I cannot understand how he copes other than notice that he is sad after dropping off his son. I too am sad when I have to drop off my son, but I do not have the added stress of having to get in a kerfuffle everything we see each other.

I know it is a bit difficult on my son. He asks when he can see me and I see him when it is possible. The only thing that makes it odd for him is the way my ex and I raise him.

I grew up a military brat. It was understood that if I acted inappropriately in public, it could mean that my father was penalized. As the oldest, I earned the privileges to participate in sports, the school newspaper, and any other extracurricular school activity. My own father went through 2 divorces before finding the right person for him. I was half way through highschool when that happened.

For Angel, Luis and I divorced when Angel was 4 years old.

It had been three years, and Angel does know the difference. I remember when Angel was 6 years old that he had once asked why his dad and I were not living together. He expressed how much he wanted his mommy and daddy to live together.

It broke my heart.

It breaks me heart when he asks if I can give him a brother or sister that looks like him. He is a sweetie, even though he has as much as a strong A dominant personality that his father and I have.

All I can do is try to be there for him. I call him when he is not with me. I arrange with my ex times outside our divorce agreement when I can see him. I know I am lucky in this as a lot of people I know do not have the same privileges with their own kids.

However, I know that my ex knows it would break me completely if my time with my son were limited to only once every other week. I am grateful for his understanding. Every moment I can spend with Angel is a blessing.

When I was married, it was like all my single friends avoided me. I made myself available at times, but I guess taking about my son or my ex husband put a wedge. However, even though I am single now, my friends who are married, are the same.

It is quite confusing. Even being in a relationship with my boyfriend, some of my single friends I have met out here in Centralia have just faded into the background. It is kind of annoying since we hung out on the weekends.

Being in a relationship does not necessarily mean a person is on the backburner. It is a time to learn how to be a better friend. Of course, with being a mother, it might be hard to not involve talk about children. I have found it a touchy spot, and made sure my family life more brief and ask about my friend more. However, for me it is a challenge. Sometimes it is disheartening to not hear from one of my best friends for some time. I have felt a bit betrayed, but in the time I do get to talk, I try to ask about my friends.

I know from other mothers that this has been a big issue. It sucks when you think you are losing a friend. You might even think you were being used. However, it is not. Your friend is just unsure to approach the situation. Being single and being married or in a deep relationship is different. Even being married or deep in a relationship with children is much more of a difference then just being married or in a relationship.

What are your thoughts if you are single and have friends who are married? – married and have single friends…?

Culture is something most parents would probably want to share with their children, whether it is community activities, national holidays, heritage, or for the sake of knowledge. Little Passports is one way to educate your children about different cultures. The fee is very affordable ($10.95 per month) and looks to be worth the money as each month you receive kits via postal mail with souvenirs and a letter from the mascots, Sam and Sofia. Also, there are monthly codes given so your child can play the games and activities on Little Passports in their section called Boarding Zone.

In a way it is like Toot & Puddle with more hands-on activities.

A portion of each sale with Little Passports goes to charities like SOS Children’s Villages and Ubuntu Education Fund. So, in a way, you are giving to some educational causes while educating your children too.

I love to take my son on occasion to have a Happy Meal or a Kids Meal. Of course, they come with toys. I remember when I was young that it was a real treat as we did not have much money. However, I also remember that I would not be able to play with the toys until I finished my meal.

I still carry this concept on with my son. Less than 2 years ago, it was hard to get him to try anything. He prefered to eat chicken. Now, I can at least get him to try things. It was this issue that I decided to not allow him to play with his toy until after he ate. I would snatch the toy and put it aside.

On occasion, I have seen other parents tune into my conversations and have had mixed reactions with it. Some thought I was a little mean. Others thought it was a great idea because they were having issues. Of course to those who thought I was a little mean, some accepted my reasoning. Others did not and I did notice their children were not eating their meals. In fact, the parents were on the verge of yelling if their child did not eat their food.

My question is… what is your policy…that is, for those who have occasionally taken their children out to eat? Do you take away the toy if your child is showing more interest in the toy rather than eating? Or do you let them have it?