I admit when my ex-husband announced that he wanted a divorce that I was nearly broken down. It took a couple years of counseling and some oddly revelations to find out that it was not me that was the problem.
I kept clean house.
I attended to my husband’s needs.
I took care of my son.
My ex-husband completely ignored my efforts and tried to put me in a position where I felt unappreciated. Of course, we did go out and we never suffered financially. However, emotionally… it was like anything I did was never enough.
Once my ex-husband and I divorced, things simmered down and we began to be more civil. No family to interfere, we passed our son in between our homes, and each of us worked our own careers.
I am fortunate that I get along with my ex. My boyfriend cannot say the same as his ex is an ugly person inside. I cannot understand how he copes other than notice that he is sad after dropping off his son. I too am sad when I have to drop off my son, but I do not have the added stress of having to get in a kerfuffle everything we see each other.
I know it is a bit difficult on my son. He asks when he can see me and I see him when it is possible. The only thing that makes it odd for him is the way my ex and I raise him.
I grew up a military brat. It was understood that if I acted inappropriately in public, it could mean that my father was penalized. As the oldest, I earned the privileges to participate in sports, the school newspaper, and any other extracurricular school activity. My own father went through 2 divorces before finding the right person for him. I was half way through highschool when that happened.
For Angel, Luis and I divorced when Angel was 4 years old.
It had been three years, and Angel does know the difference. I remember when Angel was 6 years old that he had once asked why his dad and I were not living together. He expressed how much he wanted his mommy and daddy to live together.
It broke my heart.
It breaks me heart when he asks if I can give him a brother or sister that looks like him. He is a sweetie, even though he has as much as a strong A dominant personality that his father and I have.
All I can do is try to be there for him. I call him when he is not with me. I arrange with my ex times outside our divorce agreement when I can see him. I know I am lucky in this as a lot of people I know do not have the same privileges with their own kids.
However, I know that my ex knows it would break me completely if my time with my son were limited to only once every other week. I am grateful for his understanding. Every moment I can spend with Angel is a blessing.

When I was married, it was like all my single friends avoided me. I made myself available at times, but I guess taking about my son or my ex husband put a wedge. However, even though I am single now, my friends who are married, are the same.


