I like children and people. The people I have problems with are usually ones with bad attitudes and have not been taught proper manners or respect.

I was taught while growing up not to walk through another person’s yard. It was considered rude, and by law – trespassing. Why would someone mow or plant flowers when someone is going to trample through the yard that has no sidewalk.

I know there are a lot of people who have yards and do not care, but for those who carefully cultivate their grass and flowers, trespassers push the peeve button. I had an argument with a grown woman who trekked through my yard instead of the alley. Where she walked was between the bushes and my house, only inches from my window.

For me, when I am home, I do not want people peeking or walking that close. It bothers me as I do not know who is walking through, what they want, and if they might be a problem later on. I had told her to stay out of my yard and explained why she should not be walking in another person’s property – other than it being just plain rude.

I do not go catching people because I am bored. It is pretty obvious when I can hear them. I may live in a small town, but I have been robbed before when living in a big city – it is something that triggers my fears.

Other than the woman, I have also had teenagers walk through. It was not fun dealing with them and because they were very threatening, I decided to just remind them that the police station was less than 5 blocks away and it would be certain that if I called, their parents would hear about it.

However, then I thought – maybe their parents are not teaching them proper manners? My own son is taught not to just walk through strangers’ yards. I was taught by my father and my grandparents. I have even had the opportunity to care for the lawn when I was a teen. I even helped my father with gardening – we had been featured on the front of the Lifestyles section of the Belleville News-Democrat at one time because our backyard was amazing (and not a single part was landscaped by an outside business.)

Anyhow, fencing my yard is not an option. I have thought about putting flowers in the areas people are trying to cut through. In fact, there is a lot of things I have to do to the yard, but I feel that it would not last if people are being rude and stepping through like they owned the place.

Am I being extreme when I happen to catch people walking through my yard? Any suggestions to prevent this in the future?

I admit when my ex-husband announced that he wanted a divorce that I was nearly broken down. It took a couple years of counseling and some oddly revelations to find out that it was not me that was the problem.

I kept clean house.
I attended to my husband’s needs.
I took care of my son.

My ex-husband completely ignored my efforts and tried to put me in a position where I felt unappreciated. Of course, we did go out and we never suffered financially. However, emotionally… it was like anything I did was never enough.

Once my ex-husband and I divorced, things simmered down and we began to be more civil. No family to interfere, we passed our son in between our homes, and each of us worked our own careers.

I am fortunate that I get along with my ex. My boyfriend cannot say the same as his ex is an ugly person inside. I cannot understand how he copes other than notice that he is sad after dropping off his son. I too am sad when I have to drop off my son, but I do not have the added stress of having to get in a kerfuffle everything we see each other.

I know it is a bit difficult on my son. He asks when he can see me and I see him when it is possible. The only thing that makes it odd for him is the way my ex and I raise him.

I grew up a military brat. It was understood that if I acted inappropriately in public, it could mean that my father was penalized. As the oldest, I earned the privileges to participate in sports, the school newspaper, and any other extracurricular school activity. My own father went through 2 divorces before finding the right person for him. I was half way through highschool when that happened.

For Angel, Luis and I divorced when Angel was 4 years old.

It had been three years, and Angel does know the difference. I remember when Angel was 6 years old that he had once asked why his dad and I were not living together. He expressed how much he wanted his mommy and daddy to live together.

It broke my heart.

It breaks me heart when he asks if I can give him a brother or sister that looks like him. He is a sweetie, even though he has as much as a strong A dominant personality that his father and I have.

All I can do is try to be there for him. I call him when he is not with me. I arrange with my ex times outside our divorce agreement when I can see him. I know I am lucky in this as a lot of people I know do not have the same privileges with their own kids.

However, I know that my ex knows it would break me completely if my time with my son were limited to only once every other week. I am grateful for his understanding. Every moment I can spend with Angel is a blessing.

I am a little late on this, but I better say something before it is too late to mention Holiday cards.

Yep, I am offering to send a Holiday Card to anyone who wants one. It is not much, just a card, but I know some people really like to receive things during the holidays and what better way to do it than mention it to those who read or comment. It does not matter where you live, whether within the US or outside, I will sent you one. All you do is send me an email at nile AT blondish DOT net or use my contact form here.

I plan to not send any cards out later than December 21st (I mentioned December 20th on my LiveJournal blog, but that is a Sunday…oops), so I guess that will have to be the last day to accept requests. If you wish to exchange cards, please mention that in your email so I can include my address. Otherwise, exchanging is not necessarily a requirement.

When I was married, it was like all my single friends avoided me. I made myself available at times, but I guess taking about my son or my ex husband put a wedge. However, even though I am single now, my friends who are married, are the same.

It is quite confusing. Even being in a relationship with my boyfriend, some of my single friends I have met out here in Centralia have just faded into the background. It is kind of annoying since we hung out on the weekends.

Being in a relationship does not necessarily mean a person is on the backburner. It is a time to learn how to be a better friend. Of course, with being a mother, it might be hard to not involve talk about children. I have found it a touchy spot, and made sure my family life more brief and ask about my friend more. However, for me it is a challenge. Sometimes it is disheartening to not hear from one of my best friends for some time. I have felt a bit betrayed, but in the time I do get to talk, I try to ask about my friends.

I know from other mothers that this has been a big issue. It sucks when you think you are losing a friend. You might even think you were being used. However, it is not. Your friend is just unsure to approach the situation. Being single and being married or in a deep relationship is different. Even being married or deep in a relationship with children is much more of a difference then just being married or in a relationship.

What are your thoughts if you are single and have friends who are married? – married and have single friends…?